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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24165985">Crave</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_All_Random/pseuds/Just_All_Random'>Just_All_Random</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>ONEUS (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood, Cutting, I’m sorry, M/M, Self-Harm, word vomit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:26:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>680</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24165985</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_All_Random/pseuds/Just_All_Random</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It was just for a moment, the thought zipping clear through his mind and sending a tingling feeling through his entire body, warm and shaky, an earthquake tearing him apart, his desires and reasoning separated. Hwanwoong clung to his desires. Hwanwoong craved.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Youngjo | Ravn/Yeo Hwanwoong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Crave</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">It was the stress, Hwanwoong concluded. That’s why he was thinking this way. That’s why it felt like static jumbled his brain, distorted the music he was listening to, tore his insides the way he missed it.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">The music was annoying, loud, blaring into his ears, trying to beat out the static. It was a headache, Hwanwoong preferred it that way.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">It was the lack of sleep, Hwanwoong added. That’s why exhaustion clung to his bones with every tiring step. That’s why he didn’t bother pulling his umbrella out, or why he all but collapsed the second he closed the door to the dark apartment. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Laying on the floor never felt so good, letting the darkness consume his pathetic body.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Youngjo wouldn’t be home for a while, generous hours spent at his new job as a producer at an idol company rather than cuddling with his boyfriend.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Hwanwoong wasn’t jealous, just lonely. Lacking. Empty.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">His shivered at the thought of Youngjo’s warm arms wrapping around him, pulling him close. Hwanwoong craved.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Eventually, Hwanwoong picked himself off the floor, dripping wet with rain water but at least he’s moving, though indecisive of where to, unusually confused, thoughts muddled.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He hated it. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Hwanwoong knew something was wrong, well aware of when he went into his little depressive states, well aware of how to fix them. But he didn’t want to. He blamed the stress, the lack of sleep, the craving, the revived hatred for himself.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">And he let out a sob, knees giving out.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He was on the floor again, crying into his hands hopelessly waiting for warmth to engulf him in the form of loving arms like it always had. But it wasn’t coming, not now when he needed it. And Hwanwoong craved.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He wanted to ruin himself.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">It was just for a moment, the thought zipping clear through his mind and sending a tingling feeling through his entire body, warm and shaky, an earthquake tearing him apart, his desires and reasoning separated. Hwanwoong clung to his desires. Hwanwoong craved.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">He didn’t know when he had gotten off the ground or when he had dragged himself into the kitchen. Everything felt like a blur, static blanketing his senses, desires taking control, led by past experience, by instinct, by craving.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">It was euphoric. He fell to his knees, overwhelmed by the warmth he felt. He was melting, dripping like the blood that fell from his arm. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">And it felt great.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2"><span class="s1">“</span> <span class="s2"> <em>Hwanwoong!</em> </span> <span class="s1">”</span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">That was his name.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Hwanwoong giggled.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Wow, that was a dumb thought.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Hands grabbed onto his shoulders, forcing him to look up at the owner, their expression tearful, panicked and gut-wrenchingly worried.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">And reasoning finally decided to snap back into place, crashing into Hwanwoong.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">The knife clanged against the floor, ringing in Hwanwoong’s ears. His entire body flushed in embarrassment.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Hwanwoong,” Youngjo called, tears slipping the corners of his eyes, a rare occasion that Hwanwoong caused, was at fault for.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Youngjo pulled him into his arms, squeezing him close despite how soaking wet he was, giving him the warmth he needed but was too late to give. Hwanwoong couldn’t hug back, wouldn’t dare to even if all his limbs weren’t numb.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Hot tears streaked Hwanwoong’s cheeks.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Y-Youngjo,” his voice trembled.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">Youngjo carefully picked Hwanwoong off the floor, carrying him to the bathroom, seating his boyfriend on the closed toilet seat. He wrapped a random towel around the slash on Hwanwoong’s bleeding arm before scrambling through the cabinets for that kit he used so long ago. The petroleum jelly and the alcohol wipes are probably expired by now, but all Youngjo needed were the bandages.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Youngjo,” he called softly, mind going blank, signing off.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Hold on, baby,” Youngjo said, panic clearly evident in his voice.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“Youngjo.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">It was a quiet wisp of air, the name weakly entering the air and quickly disappearing. Youngjo turned to his boyfriend, disturbed by the despondent grin he had on his quivering lips. Youngjo reached his hand out, wrapping it around Hwanwoong’s cold one. Hwanwoong conjured all his strength, curling his fingers around Youngjo’s hand.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s1">“I’m okay.”</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1"> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Not that anyone asked but I’m okay, just reminiscing that’s all..</p><p>Sorry</p><p>In other news, onewe has an official fandom name! Hey Weves &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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